A sexy Christmas tale

secretary 1Before I retired I used to work as a secretary at a big corporation. Many years ago, some days before Christmas I got this strange message from a workmate:

“In case of flight delays … this is what the South Sandwichian Airlines have arranged to entertain the passengers”.

The attachment included several pictures of hot stewardesses. In each slide they were wearing less clothes. In the last one they appeared completely naked. I knew the sender, but to be honest, this was not the sort of e-mail I would expect from him. Anyway, I’m not easily scared. It made me laugh.

I had a look at the e-mail addressees, and I could read “ALL” –meaning “All the staff”-. Obviously the email was meant to be sent only to a small group of friends, but the guy hit the wrong key by mistake and sent a massive email that was received by all the company staff, including the bigwigs. I could figure what a terrible time he should be having. And everybody around thinking he was a creep.

stewardess 3Some weeks before I had spoken to the CTO about the danger of those massive emails, and I suggested him to set up a display message to be shown before sending them, asking something like “Are you sure you want to send this email to –whatever the number of addressees is-?” in order to avoid tremendous errors like the one that happened this morning. He said to me “Hm, yes, I’ll think of it”. Mañana, of course. That horrible national habit of ours.

So the e-mail sender phoned me and asked if the GM had got his message. He was in a panic and freaking out.

– Yes, I’m afraid he got it but he’s not in the office yet. –was my answer.
– Hm. I wonder if you would be so nice as to delete it. –he said.
 – Well, I know you are in a horrendously awkward situation now, but I can’t do that. It’s ilegal. If I did, he would soon find out. Someone would tell him about your email and that would be a lot worse than deleting it.

I felt terrible, but I couldn’t do what he was asking me to.

office pin up– Now listen –I said to him-. I know you’re having a rotten time now, but it will pass. If I were you, I would report immediately to your boss before he finds out through a third person. So let me do this: as soon as the GM gets in, before he checks his emails, I’ll explain to him what happened. I’m sure he will understand. You hit the wrong key, that’s all. It could have happened to anybody. We all send silly attachments to our friends. But I’m sorry, I can’t delete the message.”

The guy was disapointed, but I could feel he was somehow relieved. Ten minutes later, the GM got in.

– Good morning. –he said-
– Good morning, ehm … there’s a small issue I’d like to tell you about before you start working. Nothing important to be bothered, but I think you should know. -I said-
– What is it? –he asked-
air hostess strip – One employee has just sent to all the staff an email including a silly attachment by mistake. He hit the wrong key in error, and sent a massive e-mail.
 – What is the attachment about?
 – Ehm … stripping stewardesses. –I smiled-

He checked it and saw the naked girls with only the airline company bonnet on in his monitor.

– What a fucking idiot. –he whispered, rolling his eyes.
 – It was completely unintended. -I said in his defence-
 – I don’t doubt it, but he should have done it from his personal e-mail. Get me his Manager on the phone. Now.

I called him on the spot. To be honest, I was really worried but nothing really serious happened.

xmas pin upAfter the in-house mini-scandal and jokes, massive e-mails were definitely restricted to a very small staff group, and the CTO had his people working on that reminder message to avoid spamming the whole corporation with wrong emails. It’ was a happy ending after all.

I sincerely hope this never happens to you. Have a very Merry Christmas and please be careful with the keys you hit before sending your Season’s greetings, wherever you are.

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20 thoughts on “A sexy Christmas tale

  1. One of my past jobs in the early 1990s was with a company that had a number of internal e-mail special interest groups. I was subscribed to the humor list where employees exchanged jokes. One guy took one of the jokes and made a very detailed sexually explicit parody of it and sent it to a female coworker. She likewise added some very explicit comments of her own. Instead of replying to him only, she accidentally sent it to the entire humor group.

    Both of them were fired.

    • Dear LX, I always thought that the personal and the profesional world should not be mixed. It’s hard sometimes and accidents may happen, like in your example. But that case was more than personal.
      The Evil Corporation never sacked its employees. It was some sort of “Hotel California” where you could check out any time you liked but you could never leave (unless you reached the retirement age!). The unions knew how to intimidate the management in these occasions…

      • Yes, indeed. Personal should be far from professional.
        You think we’re not automatas? Really? Sometimes I doubt it, Looby. Look at these guys .

        A Burdish say goes “Don’t sh*t where you eat”. Popular wisdom is most times true. 😉

    • These were stories from the past at the Evil Corporation, Young Man. At present I think you should begin getting a frequent flyer card 😉

      Frohe Weihnachten und ein tolles Jahr 2014!

  2. Luckily, most of my office employees are family, therefore removing the threat of ever being sacked over having a sense of humour. I am a great believer in kicking anyone or anything to do with Human Resources and their stringent rules, well and truly up the arse. You work for me, you have a sense of humour, end of. However, I would take a dim view of anyone who made such a stupid mistake more than once, especially if it cost me lost business due to incompetence. Sadly, pummeling and the use of lead pipes is considered to be overkill these days. Ahh for the oul days, eh?

    • Aah, those good old days when PVC, CPVC, FRP, RPMP, PP, PE, PEX, PB and ABS did not exist! Now you can’t even slap someone in the face because you may get the FBI on your back!

      Things were not so complicated then, weren’t they? I agree with you in this particular point: everyone deserves a second chance to prove their worth but also to make an adjustment and rectify. Second chances are known to work magic from time inmemorial!

    • Darling, he kept his job which was a godsend in those hard days. He asked for a transfer and he was sent to more peaceful premises, where other coworkers didn’t know his name. Still I think it was a case of bad luck. The girls at the office used to email me the firefighters calendar every year but they were never caught.

      XXX

  3. I only read your blog for the pictures 🙂

    You have to be careful with email nowadays–an old boss of mine used to have the email set up so that he could read anything, even stuff not sent to him. I resent this way that employees are supposed to be blank, unemotional, asexual robots as soon as they step foot over the company premises. There’s a line to be drawn of course, but given the misery and boredom that pervades most offices, a bit of frisky flirty fun between colleagues can only be a good thing.

    • WOT??? You only come here for the photies??? How dare you, Loobyloo??? 🙂

      So you had a swine spy at work? Did he know that it’s a misdemeanor and he could have been sued for that? In the SS Islands there have been some legal processes at the Labour Court and the workers have always won the case because their emails were considered as private correspondence.

      I partially agree with you about the fun at work. Yes, there’s boredom and misery but flirting at work most times is not a good idea. Interferences from either sides may have bad consequences.

      This is how I married my second husband when he was the chairman of the company (the late Mr Yaya, may God be with him). He was a good man, but is now in heaven and I’m in cloud nine, hahahahaha *laughs loud*

  4. Emails can be a pain in your neck. I think I am not alone, when I confess that I hate it to receive mails that are simply forwarded because the original recipient is too lazy to answer it correctly. In our company, the forwarding of mails to “All” is forbidden under penalty by, well not death, but sacking. But mails with naked stewardesses would be welcome. I normally receive mails with unpaid bills or requests that need long inquiries and even longer answers. So if anybody wants to send me mails with naked facts, they are welcome. And I can guarantee that the sender will probably not be sacked by me * laughs loud*.

    • Oh Mr A., welcome! *unrolls red carpet for you*

      Come in, please. Have a seat with the regulars and pour yourself a glass of Moonshine, honey. Unfortunately, the PC self-correction betrayed my colleague. The “All”-addressed mails were forbidden at the Evil Corporation after a fierce legal battle -the unions blamed the company for acting against freedom of speech and against trade union freedom-. The option was disabled. Don’t forget we’re talking about the goold ol’ days, dear. I’m just a granny with a computer (some sort of witch apprentice). 🙂

      You’re very right: unwanted emails can be a pain. That’s why I would send you the whole team of stewardesses doing the belly dance and a box of champagne bottles. Happy New Year!

  5. You are a very wise woman, Ms Hipster. I admire how you dealt with the situation.
    Have a wonderful New Year, it’s lovely to see you in Blogland!
    Sxxxxx

    • Ooooh Happy New Year to you too, sweetheart!
      I hope 2014 brings you good health, lots of love and happiness! It’s a real pleasure to have you around! Thank you for your sweet words. I just thought that a bit of calm and diplomacy could contribute to solve the situation and my colleague would not lose his job.

      XXX

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