The human body has a few unneeded parts that have degenerated to the point that they don’t serve the function they used to. The stupidity gland is on top of the list. We don’t really need a yellow little bag filled with a thick yellowish stupidizing fluid that leaks into our brain when we act stupid, do we?
When I was 18 I met a guy at the spring campus party and we fell in love at first sight. That weekend my parents were off and my brothers were camping with friends. Given the situation, I had this brilliant idea: asking my crush to come to my house for a private party.
He didn’t hesitate a second and rushed to my place and as soon as he arrived, we hopped onto the couch, infected with torrid passion.
All of a sudden we heard that someone was trying to unbolt the front door. I jumped on the floor in a panic. I didn’t expect anyone. We rushed to the hall, both naked. The door was half-opened. Someone was pushing it and trying to spring the lock. My stupidity gland started working at full speed and I shouted in terror: “Thieves!!!”
I phoned the police. “Help, please help me, two burglars are breaking into my house!!!”. The operator asked for the address and two minutes later the cops stopped by the door. Outside the house I could hear the voices of two guys rushing downstairs. Strangely familiar voices.
Still naked, I ran to the balcony, waved my arms theatrically and shouted “Thieves! They’re going downstairs, catch them!!!” Big Crush was utterly embarrassed at my histrionic performance and got dressed discreetly.
Still waving at the policemen, the thieves happened to be my two brothers that had returned unexpectedly from their short camping trip. They looked up in total amazement. My star appearance at the balcony had left them speechless. “Get dressed, silly!!!”-they shouted- A few people gathered in the street to watch the scene. Some passersby applauded. I was so ashamed I could have died on the spot.
I covered my body with a towel, used my best convincing skills to explain the cops that it had been an unfortunate misunderstanding caused by irrational panic and persuaded my bros that I was having a shower when Big Crush unexpectedly called in to say hello and oops! the towel fell on the floor. You know the rest.
In the meantime, Big Crush had silently cleared off. I neither saw him nor heard from him again. What a lousy chicken!
So tell me darlings, has your stupidity gland ever worked as hard as mine? Have you ever lived a “most embarrassing moment”?Let me pour you a glass of Moonshine, make yourself at home and confess. I’m all ears.